FORGIVEN
AND FORGIVING
MATTHEW
5.23-24; 6.14-15, MARK 6.37
AUGUST
24, 2008
WESLEY
UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
Douglas
Norris
Are
you a happy and joyful person? As happy and joyful you would like to
be? Try forgiveness. Perhaps there is a grudge, a bad feeling, a load
of guilt, someone you have not forgiven that is blocking your
happiness, and preventing you from being forgiven. Perhaps you are
unforgiving
and unforgiven.
In
an out-of-the-way cemetery an unmarked tombstone bears the single
word, Forgiven. One word. I wonder who was forgiven and by whom?
What happened that caused someone to leave “Forgiven” engraved
upon his tombstone? The
secret of that tombstone has long been buried. But one thing is
certain, the need for forgiveness will always exist.
Ernest
Hemmingway told a story about Paco who, estranged from his father,
had run away. His father came to Madrid, and inserted an
advertisement in the personal columns of a local newspaper: PACO
MEET ME AT HOTEL MONTANA NOON TUESDAY ALL IS FORGIVEN PAPA. On
Tuesday, over 800 Pacos showed up! 800 wanting to be forgiven!
June 16, last year,
a terrible accident occurred at the Kids for Car annual charity event
in Selmer, Tennessee. Troy Critchley, an Australian drag racer—now
known as the Burnout King—was screeching the tires on his corvette
when he lost control. Six people were killed and another 22 were
injured.
In
March of this year, Troy Critchley tearfully asked for forgiveness.
After he pled guilty to 28 charges of reckless assault, he faced the
victims' families and apologized for the immense suffering he caused.
He said, “"It
has caused heartache and suffering for my family also. I ask for the
families' forgiveness and prayers, and I will pray for your families
and loved ones and I will carry this with me for the rest of my
life."
Darla Griswell,
mother of two teenage daughters who were among the six killed, called
the accident, “4.8 seconds of stupidity that completely ruined our
lives.” She met privately with Troy and reported, “I got an
apology from Mr. Critchley and I forgive him. He was crying. He was
very genuine. I told him I knew he didn't come here intending on
killing six people.”
The families of the
victims and the injured agreed to a lesser sentence. His victims
forgave him. He is forgiven.
We’re
looking at forgiveness this summer in a series of messages. This
morning: Forgiven and Forgiving. Jesus had some radical things to
say about forgiveness; some hard things to say about forgiving. I
wonder if we have really taken his words seriously. Jesus said there
is an inextricable relationship between God’s forgiving us and we
forgiving others. In fact, Jesus said you can’t have one without
the other. When we pray the Lord’s Prayer Sunday after Sunday, do
we realize what we are asking when we pray, “Forgive
us our trespasses as
we forgive those who trespass against us.”
As
we forgive.
Jesus
could not be much clearer. Luke 6:37, “Forgive
and you will be forgiven.”
Matthew 6:14-15, “For
if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your
Father forgive your trespasses.”
In other words, how you relate to others is part of your relationship
with God. You cannot separate the two. How you relate to people is
how you relate to God. God will forgive you, God will pour love into
your heart as long as that love continues to flow out to others. When
God’s loving forgiveness is blocked, and not allowed to flow
through you to others; a dam of unforgiveness is constructed. God’s
loving forgiveness is held in a reservoir which, without an outlet,
becomes stagnant, stale, and smelly!
But, what do you do
when you forgive someone, and the act is repeated again and again?
What if the repetition is intentional, even malicious? Peter asked
Jesus, "Do I forgive seven times?" Jesus answered, "You
forgive seventy times seven times;" in other words, without
limit. You continue to forgive because forgiving benefits you. The
other person may or may not be affected by your forgiving, but your
forgiving will certainly affect you. Retain your dignity. Don't
allow yourself to be shackled with anger, bitterness and resentment.
Don't give the offender the satisfaction of knowing you have been
hurt. Forgive and let it go.
Also, what do you do
when offenders do not ask to be forgiven? Maybe they are oblivious,
don't have a clue you've been hurt. You forgive them anyway. You
may choose not to tell them you are forgivng them, because they
wouldn't know what you are talking about. By yourself, say out loud,
“I forgive”, and let it go.
Also,
how do you forgive someone who refuses to reciprocate or accept your
forgiveness? Jesus addressed this issue in Matthew 5:23-24, “When
you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your
brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there
before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or
sister, and then come and offer your gift.”
Before you worship, before you receive Holy Communion, before you
make an offering, go and straighten things out. Be reconciled. But,
what happens if the other person is not willing to be reconciled, or
ready to be reconciled? Jesus says, “Be
reconciled.”
You be reconciled. Do what you can to work out the reconciliation.
Take the first step. Make an offer. Make yourself vulnerable.
Forgive and ask for forgiveness. You have then done your part. You
are reconciled. What the other person does with your offer is his/her
decision, not yours. You have done what you can do.
The son of the
Reverend Walter Everett was murdered. His neighbor, Mike, was on
drugs, couldn’t sleep, had an argument with the pastor’s son, and
shot him. Pastor Everett was in court when Mike was sentenced and
heard him say, "I’m sorry for what I have done." On the
first anniversary of his son’s death, the pastor wrote a letter to
Mike in prison. In the letter, he expressed anger over the death of
his son, but also appreciation for Mike’s remorse. He wrote, "As
hard as these words are to write, I forgive you." Then he wrote
about God’s forgiveness and the love of Jesus Christ.
The letter was
received in prison. Mike was so startled by the return address, he
refused to open it. He finally took it to a prison counselor who read
it and urged Mike to read it. Tears started running down his face.
Later Mike said, "When I killed Scott, I figured my life was
over. But that night I knelt down next to my bed and asked God for
forgiveness."
Mike was then put on
parole. Pastor Everett’s endorsement helped convince the Parole
Board to release Mike. Pastor Everett invited Mike to speak to his
congregation, and together they taught the congregation a lesson in
repentance, forgiveness, and the promise of new life in Christ. The
pastor said, "I couldn’t offer forgiveness without the
strength that God gives me. I also knew that I couldn’t go on
living with the anger and bitterness that I had, and I had to do
something."
I
don’t know if I could be that forgiving. If someone hurt any of my
children or my grandchildren, or my church, I don’t honestly know
how forgiving I would be, but forgiveness comes from God who forgives
us. Remember what we pray, “Forgive
us our trespasses, AS we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Forgiven
and forgiving go hand in hand
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